Time to bury the word Normal

https://www.flickr.com/photos/36330824954@N01/3756538006/ 

"You should cut your hair. You should wear nicer clothes. Those are toys for girls, you should play with toys for boys.  Don't you want to fit in? Don't you want to have friends?"
"Don't you want to be NORMAL?"

Normal.

It's a word that we all use.  One single word.  Just one.  But what a horrible and deadly word it is.

We use it to describe our day. To describe someone else...or to describe how we want to be.  Society encourages this.  All while telling us to be embrace our uniqueness and differences, it tells us that we should strive to be NORMAL.  To fit in.  In school, in work, in church...wherever we go.  Society tells us that we should all strive to be NORMAL.  That it's better to be NORMAL.  NORMAL is an ideal.  And that ideal is absolute and total bullshit.

I heard the word NORMAL a lot growing up.  Hell, I heard it a lot even after I was done growing up.  People tossed the phrase at me like it was candy.  "You need to look like them.  You need to act like they do.  Be more like them.  FIT IN!  Be NORMAL!"  I heard that from people that meant well and wanted me to be happy and successful.  I heard it from people that didn't give a shit about me at all and were disgusted that I couldn't be shoved into a box.  Whatever they meant, it had the same effect.  I started not to stand out.  To not embrace what made me, me.  I started fading into the background.  To slowly have my spirit die.  To slowly kill me.

I'm sure some of you are thinking that maybe I'm going a bit over the top with this.  That "fitting in" and "normal" aren't the same thing.  But stop and think about it for a moment.  How many times has someone told you that you should fit into the norm? How many times have you wished you could be NORMAL like a friend of yours?  They may sound different, but we often use the word "NORMAL" to mean to fit in.  And how horrible is that?  Why should we hide what makes us, us?

And I get it, there are some things that are norms that are good, like not being a sociopath or a bully.  But as to the rest?  Normal is bullshit.  It causes the death of identity. Death of a spirit. Death of a soul. It bullies us until nothing is left but despair and darkness.

So what do we do?  Do we continue to tell people to be normal?  Or do we let people soar? To discover who and what they are.  To discover what they might be. It is time for the word normal to die a quick and painless death.  It is time to give it a funeral and to move on. To encourage people to be themselves.

Death, living, and art

CC by me, Andy Shuping

If you've made it past the post title yay! Good for you.  Throwing the word Death in a title is never an easy thing, but this has been rolling around in my head for a while now and I'm getting it out with words.  Comic to come at some point on it.

Back in college I remember going to an overnight church retreat with friends that I probably only saw about three times a year, so we always had interesting conversations on everything and anything.  One of my friends at the time was premed, strong willed, opinionated, and didn't take shit.  I don't even remember what we were talking about, but when another dude found out she was premed he started an earnest conversation about wanting to know what the next big diseases were going to be so that he could prepare for them.  What was the next plague, the next cancer, and so on and so forth.  He didn't want to die and he wanted to know what he could do to keep living.  I don't recall if either of us actually said this to him, or if it was just something we were both thinking, but I think we said to him something along the lines of "Why spend your time worrying about what might come or might happen?  Live! You could die from something random, why worry about something that might never happen?  Live!" I don't think he ever got why we thought it was weird to worry about what might come.

Given everything that's happened in the last few months in the world, I've been thinking about that conversation again.  And in the context of my own life.  In part because the last couple of years I let other things get in way of me living life.  I listened to well meaning people that tried to shove me down a path they thought was best for me, thought it wasn't the right one for me. Of not standing up to people in my life and calling them what they are and speaking up for myself.  Of letting a former boss tell me that I needed to think about what I said, how I wrote, how I did things, etc. in life and how it reflected on her and my library.  Because that's what matters right?  Screw having an opinion of your own, toe the line and think my way.  Good times right?  I got caught in my own trap of worrying about things that were beyond my control and of not living.  And forgetting how to create.

And when things seemed at their worst, things that I'm still not prepared to talk about publicly yet, a new path presented itself.  And I left that world.  I cut ties with some things rather forcefully, the former boss for example.  Others, for better or for worse, friends and people that I miss, decided to cut ties on their own, believing what they choose without asking questions.  And while it hurt and while there were pains the last few months of being in an environment of creating, of making, of not having to justify why I do something for other than artistic/creative reasons, and not having to worry about how my art will reflect back on someone else, has been frightening, scary as hell, awesome, and amazing all at the same time.  Its freeing to be able to pursue my dreams and my passions again.  And to begin to feel like myself again.  

And in this season of remembrance, thanks, and wishes, I am grateful for those that have stood with me across worlds, of those that have entered my world and who challenge me, of those that never left, of those that have but may come back, and those that are yet to come.  

And so this is my wish to all this holiday season.  Life is too damn short.  Use those things saved for "special" occasions.  Tell people that you care.  Don't be silent.  Keep fighting.  Keep making.  Keep being yourself.

Depression and modern society are lying aholes

This is a post that I've been thinking about for a few days now and it's rough, raw, emotional and if you don't like it that's fine.  I'm not writing it for you.  I've combined two ideas into one, because it works for me.  

I heard about the news of Robin Williams passing somewhere in Virginia.  I'm not exactly sure where, because my dad and I were in the process of moving 90% of my belongings to Vermont so I can start my new journey.  Like many I was stunned, shocked, and didn't want to believe it.  I couldn't.  Williams has been such a huge part of my life that its weird to think that we'll never see the humor and laughter in his eyes again.  Or hear the Genie's voice or any of the thousands of others that Williams could do. This YouTube video captures some of what I feel about Williams passing:

The news reporters being the jackasses that they are, went with "facts" that "speculated" that Williams had died of a drug overdose.  This was of course incorrect as it was revealed that Williams had been suffering from depression and committed suicide.  I had to keep driving to unload the truck and then turn around and drive 18 hours back to Georgia so that I can finish my life here, before moving to Vermont for the next couple of years, if not longer.  But my brain turned and turned, along with other things that have fired my brain into wanting to create and draw, which is a good thing.  It's also made me stop worrying, for the moment at least, on what others may say about what I want to create and write and do, which is also a good thing. And this post is one of those things.

Some of the events: Robin Williams passing; Ferguson, MO; an ARC of Liz Prince's Tomboy, Erika Moen's comic "I want to live," and preparing and moving a large portion of my belongings and life to Vermont.  Dots of connection in life, time, space, and everything in between and led me to think about my life.  The parts and events and everything that led me to where I am and to where I'm going.

I plan on writing a comic about my experiences with depression.  Williams passing has of course influenced it, as well as Moen's comic, posts by TheBloggess, Lee Thompson Young's death last fall, and others.  I won't share everything here that comic will have, but here is some of it: Depression for me is battling a monster.  A 15 foot tall, 20,000 pound beast, with razor sharp claws and intelligence that gives physical scars and whispers into my ear leaving wounds that gape open.  Some scars are small, some are deep, but while they may no longer bleed, they were never really heal.  The scars are cumulative and painful and we wear them and hope and plead that someone else will see them, but they may never. Some do, but they don't understand depression doesn't heal. Ever. It never goes away. We may beat it back, but it is still there waiting to come again.

Another part of the comic will deal with depression and suicide.  That is something that also struck me about Williams death that people have trouble understanding that depression doesn't care who you are, what you make, what you do for a living...it strikes none the less.  And some of the things people said about Williams suicide...well frankly they were and are horrifying.  The Bloggess says it best:  "Depression is a lying bastard" and as much as we may know it, it knows how to dig its claws into the brain and leave gaping wounds.  It says things like "Did you see how they flinched when you came in?  You're upsetting them. You. Not the situation, not the weather. It's you." It forces us to wall ourselves off and hide in hopes of not hurting others and then says things like "See. They don't care. And the ones that do all you do is hurt them.  They would be better off with out you."  That....that is some of what I have heard over the years, that is what has led me to wishing to have a button, like Erika draws in her comic, to remove me from this world.  It isn't that I didn't think about the people around me or those that I would leave behind, it is that I thought they would be better off without me around.  Depression is a lying asshole.  I am not listening to it now and I know it is lying...but it will come back.  And all I can do is believe that I am strong enough and have the support I need to fight the beast.

And this ties into the realization that "modern society" is also a lying ahole.  And there will be a comic about it.  It's inspired, in part, by Liz Prince's Tomboy.  And in part by the fact that "society" wishes to tell us what is and isn't the right way of doing things or being.  It does it with depression. It does it with life.  And I'm tired of society trying to tell me what it is that I'm supposed to be or do.  I tweeted about it last night:

"modern society" is like a bad game of simon says that no one can win at as it insists we can have dreams but only in its context.
— Andy Shuping (@ashuping) August 17, 2014

society says we have to look, act, or dress in its way to have our dreams. the right gender, race, clothes, outer shells that mean nothing
— Andy Shuping (@ashuping) August 17, 2014

so society please kindly take your expectations back and burn them. i'll follow my dreams my way. you don't get a say.
— Andy Shuping (@ashuping) August 17, 2014

I will make a comic about this.  And society and depression can bite me.  In remembrance of Robin and others that have fought and continue to fight depression I leave you with these videos:  





and this idea:

all of us are a little bit weird, anyone that says that they aren't is nuttier than the rest of us. weird = good. http://t.co/G8enbH1cYA
— Andy Shuping (@ashuping) August 17, 2014

The lies will not win today and tomorrow will bring a new day and a new battle.  Make of it what you will.  Make of it what you may.  Make it better.  Make it different.  Make it weirder.  Most of all make it you.

You are not alone

https://www.flickr.com/photos/kjcs/4922480879/

In recent months I've blogged about my depression and anxiety, my diagnosis as being on the Asperger's spectrum, and beginning new journeys.  And as I began packing and the sorting of my physical life, I've done the same with my mental life.  And I realized that I keep giving...this demon, this darkness, this despair, whatever you want to call it more power than it deserves because I haven't talked about it.  Not as much as I could have and not as much as I should have.  So I'm going to change that now.

I don't want to tell the whole story here, in part because some of it is still being written, and in part because this just isn't the right forum for all of it.  One day perhaps...I've lived with depression and anxiety all of my life.  I didn't know that's what it was called nor was I ever formally diagnosed with it until two years ago this August.  While it bothered me a few times a year, I could feel it coming and prepare myself and have it go on after a week or so.  Two years ago though it came and it stayed and it didn't go away.

I began seeing a counselor who has helped me more than they will ever know.  I've taken medication that has helped.  I've sought advice from friends, coworkers, and complete strangers some of which was helpful and some of which was not.  I hurt people that I care about and they hurt me in return.

I've been dealing with a bullying situation for quite some time now, where a person that I trusted threw everything that I had told them back at me.  That I hadn't progressed as much as they wanted with my depression.  That I needed fat clothes.  That I needed to rethink my career because I wasn't cut out to be a librarian anywhere.  That they wouldn't give me a reference.  And more.  Things that were more cutting and hurtful than anything else I've ever been told before.

And now I get to the part where I can count on one hand how many people know what I'm about to say.  Towards the end of April I came as close as I've ever come to breaking completely.  I was so distraught over some things that were going on that I composed an email that I was going to send out to a group of people.  Before I did so I shared it online, in a private place to ask what they thought.  And the people that responded thought it sounded like a suicide note.  It wasn't meant to be that, but...at the same time it was.  I wasn't looking to cause harm to myself or anything like that, but I didn't want to be around anymore.  I wanted to just vanish.  And be gone.  A handful of folks reached out to me and one in particular kept messaging me until I called my counselor, went to see them, and then got back.  And then kept touch with me over the next few weeks to see how I was and to help me out.  I took time off to get my head back in place as much as I could and made plans to how to improve my situation.

And we come to the present.  I'm feeling better, but still struggling.  Not what I was a few weeks ago, but there are still days that are rough and hard.  But there have been people that have continued to stand by me and help me when I need it.  To remind me that I am not alone.  So that in turn I can help remind others that they are not alone.

The world keeps spinning and I know that there are people that will sit with me and say nothing other than they are there.  And that I am not alone.

Letter Quote--"Must we hate them?"

http://www.flickr.com/photos/84493444@N00/8177762468/

One of my favorite blogs to follow, is "Letters of Note."  The goal, or mission if you rather, of this blog is to share with readers letters, telegrams, faxes, postcards, or any thing else that they can find that readers might find interesting or fascinating.  They've posted and shared items dating back to the 1600's and to the present.  And what is most interesting is that regardless of the passage of time...is how much we're all still the same.  Love, hate, hope...it crosses time without boundaries, to let us know that that those that came before us, still talked about the same things we did.

In the letter that was shared today, "Letters of Note" found one of the most powerful letters I've ever read or seen on the question of...must we hate them?  The letter was written by a Jamaican-born mechanic, Canute Frankson, in 1937 as he was fighting in the Spanish Civil War against Franco. The letter was to a friend back home, who wanted to know why, he a Negro man (wording from the letter) was fighting alongside white people, the same white people that had hated and enslaved people like him. Canute preceded to write one of the most impassioned arguments for why hate must not be allowed to win.

Here's a small part of that letter, just to give you an idea of what Canute writes:

All we have to do is to think of the lynching of our people. We can but look back at the pages of American history stained with the blood of Negroes, stink with the burning bodies of our people hanging from trees; bitter with the groans of our tortured loved ones from whose living bodies, ears, fingers, toes, have been cut for souvenirs—living bodies into which red-hot pokers have been thrust. All because of a hate created in the minds of men and women by their masters who keep us all under their heels while they such our blood, while they live in their bed of ease by exploiting us. 

But these people who howl like hungry wolves for our blood, must we hate them? Must we keep the flame which these mastered kindled constantly fed? Are these men and women responsible for the programs of their masters, and the conditions which force them to such degraded depths? I think not. They are tools in the hands of unscrupulous masters. These same people are as hungry as we are. They live in dives and wear rags the same as we do. They too are robbed by the masters, and their faces kept down in the filth of a decayed system. They are our fellowmen. Soon and very soon they and we will understand. Soon many Angelo Herndons will rise from among them, and from among us, and will lead us both against those who live by the stench of our bunt flesh. We will crush them. We will build us a new society—a society of peace and plenty. There will be no color line, no jim-crow trains, no lynching. That is why, my dear, I'm here in Spain.
 So please, take a moment, and go read this letter and ask yourself, must we hate them?  Must we hate those that are not like us?

Where to go from here?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/78592755@N06/11347530014/

“Be the change you wish to see in the world.” Mahatma Gandhi

I've heard that quote so many times it seems like one day it's just going to appear as a tattoo on my body.  It's a great quote isn't it though?  You want things to change in the world? Go out and show them how.  And when I started thinking about this blog post, and how I wanted to provide an update to my last post about my diagnosis with Asperger's, that quote popped into my head.  I could even hear different friends, coworkers, random strangers say it to me.  And I realized something about the quote...it's a double edged sword in it's meaning.  It tells us to go out and change the world, by leading by example.  And that's both a good and a bad thing.  Because think about the people that you know and encounter, if you suddenly start living you life differently, exemplifying what you want them to see, to be accepting of you as you are...how are they to react?  Some of them will stand by you and hold you up; some will be there for you, but express worry about how others will view you; some will ignore you; and some will tear you to pieces for being different.

And so...I started thinking, what do I want the world to see about me.  How do I want them to perceive me?  And I Googled the quote, to make sure I had it right, and I discovered...I don't.  Gandhi didn't say those words, at least not like that.  What he said was:

“If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change. As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him. ... We need not wait to see what others do.”  (via: http://www.nytimes.com/2011/08/30/opinion/falser-words-were-never-spoken.html)

So...that's a bit different isn't it?  At least how I read it.  It isn't that the world changes around what we do, it's that how we perceive the world changes towards us.  The world may still treat us the same way, but if we change ourselves, if we adjust how we approach the world, then our feelings towards it will change.  And that last little part..."We need not wait to see what others do."  That's what struck me the most.  Stop waiting for others to put themselves out there to guide us and tell us what to do, and instead take the first step.

So, in my last post, I took the first step to a new path in this journey and I laid out that I was diagnosed as being on the Asperger's spectrum last December and what it's like for me.  Since that post I've gotten advice from a lot of different people that was all across the board.  And most of the people were genuinely trying to help me out, that were worried about me and my future, and just about me in general.  All good things, but I struggled with aspects of what they were telling me, and that's why I started thinking about the quote.  Because some of them told me to be the change that I want to see.  And once I saw the original quote, everything in this post clicked.

I am changing how I see the world.  I am changing how I approach it.  They may be small changes.  They may be big changes.  But they are the changes that I choose.  And the first of those changes is.  I am me.   I am most comfortable, most happy, most at ease when I am not trying to fit into a traditional mold or follow the path that others have taken.  I hear the drummer and I march to my own beat, with all of my weird ticks, tendencies, and strange habits that I've developed over the years.  The biggest change to make, is that I am job hunting again.

Don't get me wrong, my library is great, but it is not where I fit and if I'm honest with myself, I've known that for a while.  I am looking for a library that wants a librarian that thinks outside the box, that is slightly eccentric, that is honest, and that can work outside the traditional mold.  I am that librarian, regardless of the position, I am creative, I am passionate, and I am innovative.  I play well with others, I work independently, and I forge new paths.  If you hire me, if you let me be me, then I promise to make that position awesome and to spread it to the rest of the library.  If you want a librarian like this, then drop me a line.

I am taking a stand.  I am forging a path that is mine and I am trusting my instincts.  Also, just because this is on my play list, I leave you with this video, Sara Bareilles--Brave:

 

I am...

http://www.flickr.com/photos/jplauriente/
8469133401/sizes/c/in/photostream/

So we all have stories to tell.  Stories that define us, that make up who we are, that describe us...and everything else in between.  I've written randomly in the past about part of my story, most recently talking about my battle with depression/anxiety and my thoughts on bullying, and random other bits and pieces.  With my 2013 end of the year post I mentioned that I had recently had another diagnosis that I wasn't ready to discuss then.  Now though...I'm ready to share the information widely (had to wait on a few other things first.)  It's another part of my story.

Although I've never written about it before I was diagnosed early on in my life with ADD, and of course I've blogged about part of my battle with depression and anxiety.  And if you've met me in real life you'd be apt to describe me as the quite, shy, quirky, but mostly nice dude that could probably speak up a bit more cause he's pretty smart.  That's the way I've been described all my life.  But...I never felt like it described me right.  Growing up I knew that I thought differently than everyone else.  I could never describe it or put it in words, but I knew I didn't think like everyone else around me. So I just went with it.  I did things to emphasize that I was different, that I was me, and I didn't care what anyone else though. And it worked for the most part. Sure I had to conform to rules for some jobs, but overall I could just be me and I still had the things that I wanted. I'd get the job done my way and no one was bothered by my quirks. I had friends that hung out with me and would occasionally make allowances for my weirdness.  That all changed a good bit when I started my first professional job.  It wasn't bad though and I could make it. And then in the summer of 2012 the depression/anxiety hit like a ton of bricks and it don't go away.  I could almost get back to an even keel, but there were situations that I kept encountering that just made me feel lost and confused no matter what I tried.  And a lot of the advice I got from so many different people, some meaning well and others not so much, just didn't click or fit for me and just added to everything else that I was feeling. That something was wrong with me, because I couldn't match what they did.

Then last spring I had the chance to visit a friend and they were talking to me about one of their kids, and something clicked.  I kept thinking the way they were describing their child...they were describing me.  Having to watch people to see how to fit into groups, what they did to get invited into conversations, a lot of things just...matched.  And in December I was diagnosed as being on the Asperger's spectrum.  And a lightbulb went off in my head.  Lots of things that hadn't made sense growing up, things that couldn't be described by just being shy or ADD...the pieces finally fit.  Why I couldn't figure out how to talk to people, why I do poorly in some social settings, why I say things that violate "societal norms," all of it finally made sense.  When I told some people their response was "I would never have pegged you for being on that spectrum" and others were "Yeah I started to think that a couple of years ago" (thanks I think?)

If you read the Wikipedia link above (yes wikipedia provides a good overview) you can see that Asperger's is a broad ranging spectrum that is part of a larger scale of Autism Spectrum Disorders, which is why some people were surprised when I told them that I'm on it.  For me, I fall somewhere in the middle of the Asperger's spectrum.  Some of the traits/characteristics that apply to me:

• I'm not the best at social interactions.  95% of the time I have no idea how to start a conversation with someone new. My brain just can't figure it out so as a coping mechanism I'll try to talk about something that I like, with varying degrees of success.  Once I get to know someone and learn what they like I can start conversations, but....they're going to be on the topics that I know that person likes, which can get old after a while.  If someone else starts the conversation though, I'm generally OK.
• As part of this I also tend to use repetitive phrases, a coping mechanism I developed to be able to fit into conversations. Like saying "I'm tired" a lot if I'm responding to how I'm doing.
• Another part of this...I don't always say or ask the right thing in social interactions.  Nothing malicious, just questions that one shouldn't ask, like asking if someone is pregnant because they just announced their engagement and were out sick for a few days.  Can't explain why, but that's just where my brain goes.
• I don't do well in crowded spaces. If I'm with someone I can control it a bit, but being on a plane or movie theater or conference where someone sits right next to me is...uncomfortable 
• I don't do well with nonverbal communication or nonvoiced expectations.  This crops up on projects and what not where other people get the sign that things should be done a certain way, just because...I miss it.  Or mistake it for something else.  As for the nonvoiced expectations, I have to ask questions or clarifications for things that may be obvious to others.

This post from CNN.com, written by a father of a child with Asperger's and someone that talks about hiring people with Asperger's, resonated with me on so many levels and just fits...me.

So needless to say all of this, has impacted my life, both personal and professional.  And it's created some unexpected challenges in a part of my life that I've been working through lately, which has made this the worst start to a year I've ever had.  And...yeah.  And yes this is only part of the story. I may blog more about it later, I don't know. I'm still figuring out where I fit into all of this, but things are getting a bit easier now that I know a name for it.

But these things aren't all of me. They're a part of me.  The shape how I view and process and interact with the world around me.  They are a part of me, but not all of it.  I am also these things:

• librarian
• artist
• Blogger
• Book reviewer
• Lego builder
• designer
• problem solver
• trouble shooter
• excellent listener 
• fan of graphic novels
• doer 
• role maker

And a lot of other things that I can't list or name or don't even want to start naming.  

I'm still figuring out some of what that means. And if you don't like it...frankly that's your loss.  I know I've got good ideas, that I'm a good person, and that I mean well.  And I may say stupid things, I may not act or react like you do or how you want me to, but that's ok because I am me.  Meanwhile, I'm going to remember this line from Batman Begins where Alfred Peenyworth says to Bruce Wayne: "Why do we fall sir? So we might learn to pick ourselves up." Not that I've fallen...but I am going to pick myself up again and go on with life.

This past year

Bad librarian here. I have no idea where I got this from (I
think it was from a book) but it was to good not to use.

It's that time of year again where everyone looks back on the past year and talks about what is to come in the upcoming year.  I of course have decided to follow that pattern, not simply to follow the herd, but because of other reasons.

This past year was not a normal year for me.  2013 was one of the most difficult years I've had in oh so many ways. The biggest struggle of course was dealing with depression and anxiety and more recently another diagnosis that was like lightbulb going off in my head.  I'm not ready to discuss that diagnosis yet (everything is fine, so no worries.)  The depression and anxiety seemed to get the better of me a lot this year, causing me to doubt myself, causing me to doubt who I am and what I'm capable of, impacting work, and more importantly impacting friendships that I have both in real life and online.  If I were to have been writing this a few weeks ago I probably would have talked more about what I left undone, but you know what?  Fuck it.  I'm tired of talking about that.  Instead here's what did go right (in no particular order at all, just whenever I thought of it):

• I was able to attend TCAF and Heroescon with my dad, which was awesome.  We both got to geek out over graphic novels and comics and I just love being able to share that with him.  Plus I got to meet so many great people, both fans, and writers and artists that loved meeting and talking with people.  
• Other events this year I got to go to: SPX, Decatur Book Festival, and a Bill Bryson book signing.  All of which were fun, fantastic, and so many great people and authors and artists.
• Beginning in January I'll be writing for No Flying, No Tights, one of the best librarian/graphic novel blogs around and I'm so excited to be writing for them.
• I wrote a guest post for "Letters to a young librarian" on being an ILL Librarian that was picked up by ALA Direct!  First time (I think) for that's ever happened.
• I presented at my state library conference, COMO, on graphic novels and formed a partnership with two other great folks, which will lead to some great future endeavors.
• I've got a presentation accepted for Computers in Libraries 2014.
• Publishers continue to send me review copies of books, which is completely awesome because how can I not like free books to read?
• I started a graphic novel group at MPOW and while it wasn't well attended it was fun to plan and professors kept introducing me to students as "this is the guy you need to thank for starting the graphic novel collection.  Tell him what else to order"
• I completed LibraryJuice's Certificate of User Experience course.  Which was awesome and I just realized I need to write a blog post about it.
• I was accepted into the Certificate of Advanced Data Studies at Syracuse's iSchool to begin in January.  I'm really looking forward to getting my brain hammered in new directions.
• I submitted my first ever article to a library publication.  Still waiting to hear if it will be accepted, but keeping my fingers crossed.
• I served as the outside reviewer for two faculty hirings in one of my liaison areas, which was interesting to see how things worked in other areas.
• Finally did a sleep study and was diagnosed with mild sleep apnea.  
• Served on Jury Duty for the first time ever.
• Went horseback riding a couple of time.
• Attended a Julia Nunes living room show, which was awesome!
• Attended the wedding of one of my best friends from college and being able to see her walk down the aisle.
• Attended the wedding party of two online friends and got to meet them in person for the first time, as well as a few other folks from online.

More importantly though, I found just how many people were willing to stand by me throughout the year, both in real life and online.  Friends that encouraged me when I was down, that kicked my brain when it was needed, and told me the truth when I needed it even more.  I'm not even going to attempt to list them, mostly because I'd fail at it and would invariably forget someone and tick someone off...

But to those of you on FriendFeed, on Twitter, on Facebook, or heaven help us all, in real life thank you for the comfort, the joy, the agony, the tears, the encouragement, and everything else that you've given to me this past year.  I would not be where I am now without you.  For those that have stood by me more than others if I haven't already gotten on my knees and thanked you, please know that I'm doing so now.  You are awesome and I'm glad to have you in my life.

For the upcoming year my plans are:

• Work on the advanced Data certificate program 
• Present at CIL
• Submit some presentations to ACRL
• Work on a book proposal
• Keep learning
• Do awesome

And for my own sanity sake say "fuck it" more often and follow my heart and gut, even if it means going against the advice of friends.  I am going to follow my own path more often, even if it isn't the way most people would go.  And I'm going to do what makes me happy, even if if that's sitting in my apartment, with my cats sitting on me, and reading a good book.

So farewell 2013, I look forward to the challenges you bring 2014.

An open letter

October 6, 2011
Online world

Dear Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Harper Collins, Ebrary, EBSCO, and any other publisher/vendor dealing in ebooks (which is probably a good number of y'all),

I'm sure by now you all are tired of hearing from libraries and librarians about ebooks.  I mean I don't even really need to list what's been said about y'all do I?  But I want to take a bit of a different tact so please do keep reading.

First of all let's just go ahead and agree that both sides--publishers/vendors and libraries/librarians--need to work together on this, because neither of us can live without the other.  And yes I said that you need us.  Because let's go ahead and be honest when someone gets confused about how their ereader works, how to get library ebooks on it, how to use the thing...who do they really come to?  That's right, they very often come and visit their local library.  They know (or figure) that we should know how the thing works and also be able to recommend more great books to them.  And where would these folks find out about more books without us?  But we need y'all as well.  Ebooks, whether people like it or not, are a big part of the future of library world and y'all make them.  So we need to work together on this.

So what now?  Well how about we come up with a couple of compromises for both sides here.

I'll start with the library side first.
1)Getting paid and how often:
OK I'll admit HarperCollins had a good point a while back about ebooks not wearing out like regular books and the desire to get paid again, just as if a replacement copy had been ordered.  I'll also state that the checkout limitation was completely and utterly ludicrous.  So why not come up with something different?

How about an annual charge for the books.  And no I don't mean the full cost or limitations on how many times it can be checked out.  Let's just talk strictly about books that are in the $8-$25 range, which are popular books, best sellers, stuff that a large number of people are likely to read.  What about an annual fee (after the first year) per book of .50-$2.00 depending upon the retail price of the book?  That way a library has it for a year, they get a chance to look at the circulation of it and decide whether or not they want to keep it, kinda of like we do now.  If they do keep it they pay a small charge and it goes to you.

Now granted we get a lot of things through packages through vendors so things might need to change there as well (with vendors offering the chance to switch out books perhaps,) but that can be a conversation down the line.

2) Data
Let's just go ahead and be honest we all know that you collect data (some of you a bit more than others.)  And libraries are loathe to get up lots of data, because we try to protect our patrons.  But what if we compromise a bit? Let's strip out the patron name and the street address out of the data.  That way you can't associate it with one person and if the government decides to go crazy, you don't have that information to give them.  You still get some info that's useful to you and we make sure that we continue to protect our patrons privacy.

What you need to change:
1) Format, and this is the big one:
This idea that you'll only provide ebooks in one format or your ebook reader will only read one format it's ludicrous.  Y'all are acting like this is the battle between Beta player and VHS instead of what it really is, a battle between Sony and Samsung players.

Look the format is already out there, epub, just go ahead and use it.  Let people read their books on whatever device they have and not trying to force them into having only your device and no other.  DVD's companies don't do this.  I mean seriously can you imagine the chaos if you had to have 10 different DVD players to enjoy your favorite movie?

I get it, really I do.  You want to get people to buy your device.  But why not get them to buy your device based upon what it offers, not that they have to buy their books just from you.  And for their books?  Let them come to you because they know what service that you offer and the price that you can offer on ebooks.  Because come on now, they're buying their ebooks based on that anyway.

1a)Vendors and ebook readers:
This is a subset of the first conversation, but y'all seriously? You're going to let us buy ebooks and then say "sorry you can only read it on the computer."  That kind of defeats the purpose of an ebook, you know that right?  So let's start making it so that we can read ebooks on ebook readers without having to download a piece of software that doesn't work on every ebook read (looking at one of you in particular here.)  We can find a way to make it work.  You know it. I know it. So let's make it happen.

2) Talk to us:
And yes I mean really go out there and talk to us.  And no the librarians that are on you staff don't count.  Nothing against them, but once they start working for you doesn't that kinda of limit their experience with interacting with patrons on a daily basis?  Form a group.  Include people that you know are pissed off at you, but are reasonable (yes there are some out there.)  Get our input.  Include the input of your customer base.  Share it.

We can't exist in a bubble and it's time we both stopped living in aspects of them.

Now I'm only one librarian and I can't speak for them all so this is just me talking.  But let's just keep talking and see where it goes?  What do you say?

Why do we fall?

I love "Batman Begins".  Not just because it brought Batman back to life in the movies, but because of a line that Alfred Peenyworth says to Bruce Wayne: "Why do we fall sir? So we might learn to pick ourselves up." 

I mean seriously, just how awesome is that line?  Ole Alfred isn't talking about the physical fall, but the mental fall as well.  And boy do I need to remember that line a lot these days.  I keep falling over broken promises, perceived slights from others, and goals that I set for myself.  I keep letting myself be overcome by the stupid and worrying over the things that I can't change.  And I've got to remember, to pick myself back up, dust off my clothes, and go back to being the kick ass person I know I am, both professionally and personally.

Where do we go from here?

I've seen quite a few things recently about the future of libraries...ok almost everything I see is about the future of libraries and how we're either in competition with Amazon, Google is going to kill libraries,  Amazon is destroying us, or some unknown alien race is going to show up and displace libraries and librarians with their galactic encyclopedia.  And all of this is interesting...but why do we keep worrying about who or what we're in competition with?  Yes there are a lot of different places that offer some of the same services that we do, but there's nothing that offers everything that we do.  We keep talking about how libraries aren't just the brick and mortar buildings, that we're the resources, we're the digital, and most importantly we're the people who can help our users find what they need.  That we're all of these different things that work together to become an integral part of the community.  That we know the people that come in our library by name.  That we know what resources they need.

Well can Amazon offer that?  Can Google offer it?  No they can't.  They can make recommendations via computer algorithms, but they can't be everything that a library can be.  They don't have people there to ask them how they're doing or how their pet is.  Or know their homework assignment because they talked to the professor or teacher last week.  These businesses, these companies, these aliens, these whatever can only do part of what we do.  We can do so much more.

Can we learn from these companies though? Sure.  1st lesson:  Apple, Amazon, Google and the others didn't get to where they were by coming out in public and wailing that the next company over was going to put them out of business.  They looked at the world around them and said "f'it.  we can do better than that" (not a direct quote by the way) and went out and made it better.  So what do we do?  We go out and make it better (which we have been doing.)  We've just got to start following the 2nd lesson which is...

2nd lesson:  Amazon, Apple, and Google didn't stand on the sidelines and mumble about how they did it better.  They shouted it from the rooftops and didn't let themselves be pushed out of the way.   So let's stop spending our energy on worrying how x is going to put us out of business and start focusing on learning from them and improving what they can offer.  So that we can better serve our community.  Our users.  Those people that we know by name (even if we sometimes wish we didn't.) 

3rd lesson:   Stop letting other people take credit for the things that we've done and show our users, show the people that fund us just how great we really are.  Talk to the press, tell them what we're doing, what we've done and how we've influenced the world. We've got to stop doing things the same way and go out there and promote ourselves. 

It's a new age and we're not going anywhere.  Let's show the world that.

Google+, Google's social something

Just this past week Google launched Google+, their much hyped/talked about answer to Facebook/Twitter/Myspace...basically every social networking site out there.  And of course the web world has gone wild with either calling it absolutely brilliant, saying its too much like Facebook, its not enough like Facebook, or that it's absolute crap and rubbish.

I was lucky enough to get in (thanks Laura B) and here's what I think:  It's too early to pass judgement on it.  Seriously its a week old, yes there are going to be growing pains.  There have already been a couple and the Google+ team has worked quickly to fix them.  I'm not saying give them all time before you pass judgement, but two days after it launches in private beta is a bit early to decide where it falls in the technical world.

Personally I think we've started to judge things too quickly.  We instantly want to compare everything to Facebook or Twitter and point out what the competition does and doesn't do just like them.  But I think we forget that Facebook had a couple of years to build up to what it is now, I mean it was closed off to just University students when it first started.  And Twitter?  Let's not forget that when it first made the main stream with news networks and athletes using it, the service crashed every other day.  And that was just two years ago!  And yet it's still here.

If it doesn't work for you that's fine.  But so far I like, I'm going to give it a shot before I make up my mind completely.

The rest of the year...

Half of the year is almost over and I have trouble believing that...mostly because there are quite a few things that I thought I'd be done with by now, but aren't.  But life gets in the way sometimes.  But...I still want to make some changes in my life.  I want to actually accomplish a few things before the year ends.  And to that end I'm blogging about it.  Not that it will really interest anyone, but perhaps it will help hold me accountable. 

So to that end here's what I want to accomplish by the end of the year (some of the goals are actually just tweaks to my schedule, but it will help me down the line...)

• I want to do at least 5 hours of coding/technical/systems things a week (and no I'm not counting work).  A few weeks ago I blogged that I wanted to take my career in this direction and this will help me towards that step (I hope).
• I want to devote at least one day a month to doing art.  I miss doing it.  I have so many things that I want to do with it...so at least one day a month I'll pull out the pencils and markers and have fun.
• I want to write one article before the end of the year.  I have one in mind and I just need to sit down and actually do it and stop thinking about it.  No idea if it will get published, but I'll give it my best shot.
• I want to start working on a graphic novel.  I've had a few ideas scattered about in my head and I just need to sit down and actually do something with them instead of letting them run away.  Who knows if anything will come of it, but I hope to have some fun with it.
• I want to do at least 5 hours of exercise a week.  I need to get in better shape and I nee to feel better about myself.
• Random one: I want to get into the Amazon vine reviewers program.
• And probably the most important one...I need to stop thinking about work when I leave work.  I need to leave problems, solutions, and whatever else at work.  I'll still do professional reading at home and what not, but I need to stop taking work "life" home with me.

So those are things that I want to work on these last 6 months of the year.  Now to get started on making them happen.

Musings on ebooks

Even though I've posted a couple of times about ebooks, I'm by no means an expert.  If you want one of those take a look at Librarian in Black or Andy Woodworth or Jason Griffey.  Me? I just have an opinion on what I like and don't like.  And really I don't like the fact that most of the publishers seem to be living in the confines of the 16th century.  But instead of ranting about what publishers aren't doing I thought I'd point out the one publisher that I've noticed that is actually living in the present.  

I've been doing book reviews for O'Reilly's blogger program in part because I like O'Reilly's books (one of the best computer science publishers out there in my opinion) but more than that, because of there stance on ebooks  for personal use. (I make the distinction because they do have a database platform for libraries, but I'm not discussing that here)

For starters they make this statement when you look at your account:

You get lifetime access to ebooks you purchase through oreilly.com. Whenever possible we provide them to you in five DRM-free file formats — PDF, ePub, Kindle-compatible .mobi, DAISY, and Android .apk — that you can use on the devices of your choice. Our ebooks are enhanced with color images, even when the print version is black and white. They are fully searchable, and you can cut-and-paste and print them. We also alert you when we've updated your ebooks with corrections and additions.

First off notice that statement in bold.  Lifetime access.  No cut offs, no you can only download this x number of times and then you have to buy it again.  Lifetime.  Your computer crashes and burns, download the book again.  Need it at work? Download it again.  Need I say more?

Then notice that second statement:  "Whenever possible we provide them to you in five DRM-free file formats — PDF, ePub, Kindle-compatible .mobi, DAISY, and Android .apk."  Now they can't always do this, and I can look at books that I've bought and sometimes there are only two formats available (or just one) but I'm almost always finding at least the PDF format that I can take anywhere.  And no DRM.  None.  Any device that I have that can read PDF can read the file.

And even better when you purchase a physical copy of a book they give you the option of upgrading to an ebook for $5. (I think it should be for free, but still...how many other publishers are doing this?)   Think about that...for $5 more you get the physical book and the ebook.  And the ebook you can have access to anywhere in the world and you don't have to worry about it being destroyed.  How cool is that?

The only real compliant I have is the cost of the ebook, but...I get it they have to make a living so I won't discuss it.

Now surely this cost O'reilly a bit of extra time and a bit of extra money to do this, so why would they?  And here I'm just speculating, but could it be because they realize not all of their readers are alike?  Yes it's a technology company, but they publish books that anyone can use.  Guides to how to use software or operating systems, the Missing Manual series, and even books on public speaking.  They get that their readers are coming from all walks of life and have different ideas of how they want to access their books and they don't want to be limited to one device.  They are thinking about the future and what they can do to make their customers happy so that they keep coming back again and again (and yes the quality of the book matters as well, but so doe this.) 

So why won't other publishers do this?  You know...I'm not really sure.  Sure it might cost them a bit more, but what does it cost them in customer loyalty?  What does it cost them to aggravate their users who can't read in the format they want it in or on the device they want it on? I wonder...

Where I want to go

I've been reflecting on where I want to take my library career in the future and at the same time looking at what I've done in the past.  So these are my musings/thoughts/ramblings/something about where I've been and where I'd like to go (or at least where I'm thinking of going.)

My career in libraries began back in undergraduate at Dacus Library, Winthrop University.  I was a student assistant with something like 6 hours a week (half of which in the beginning I spent cleaning out toner bottles) my freshman year and by the time I graduated 4ish years later I was the weekend supervisor working 20 hours a week.  I should have known then that the library world wouldn't let me go, but I was foolish and looked elsewhere for a MA in Art History.  Even while working on that one of the Art History professor's suggested I get the MLIS...but did I listen?  Nope...at least not at the time.  After I abandoned the MA in Art History I decided to get a job a job back in the library world, this time as a staff person.

So I headed to Johns Hopkins University as the Weekend/Evening Support Services person...which basically meant if it was related to the stacks, building, copiers, or problem patrons I got to deal with it.  And I loved the variety of the job!  I got to do so many different things from dealing with building issues, to training students, to dealing with malfunctioning copiers and everything in between.  I was never bored...but I hated the fact that I couldn't actually make any changes.  I didn't have that piece of paper that said MLIS on it.  So...after almost 2 years at Hopkins I headed to University of South Carolina to get my MLIS through their distance education program. 

I worked on my MLIS at USC and worked a couple of PT jobs, including one as a reference assistant at USC Upstate.  And here one of the reference librarians suggested that I focus on technology, since it was something that I seemed to enjoy so much and I was always trying out new things online.  Did I listen?  Nope...not really (notice a reoccurring pattern here?)  I finished my MLIS in a year so I could have the shiny piece of paper and I didn't really consider what it was that I wanted to do other than be a librarian and the only thing I was sure of is that I didn't want to work in cataloging.  With that grand plan in mind I secured a job working at Tarver Library, Mercer University.

I've blogged before about my job at Tarver.  I've been Circulation/Interlibrary Loan Librarian, Learning Commons/Emerging Technologies/Interlibrary Loan Librarian, and my current job title Emerging Technologies & Services/Interlibrary Loan Librarian.  And I like this last iteration of my job title the most.  I have the most chance to play and try new things...most of the time at least.  And of course there are projects that I have to get done and sometimes they end up taking more time and energy than I would like, but that's part of work right? 

But...over the last few years I'm starting to think the librarian at USC Upstate had the right idea.  My passion is technology.  Not just the systems aspect of it (which I've gotten to do a bit of) and coding, but how patrons use it.  How do they use the computers we have, where do they sit to use their laptops, what can we do to improve all of this?  And this is where I want to take my career.  I love some of the flexibility that I have at my current job, but I don't get to play with technology every day (and yes my job title is Emerging Technologies)...I want to take my career more towards the systems side of things or a job where I can have more of an impact with how patrons use the technology we have (and I have some of this at my current position, just not as much as I'd like.)

And even though occasionally a job pops up that I never considered before, like working at the Smithsonian or something that has nothing to do with technology, my passion really is that.  I've been spending more time trying to improve my technology skills by:

• doing some basic HTML/CSS coding just to keep my skills up
• Improving my PHP/MySQL 
• Improving my Javascript/jQuery 
• Picking up new languages, like python and django
• Figuring out how to install and use so many of the different free programs out there
• Thinking of new ideas...
• I'm thinking about getting a master's in computer science (or IT)...once I find fuding

 and I'm keeping my eyes open for other opportunities.  And that's where I am at the moment.

Choices

More and more lately I've been thinking about how my life (and life in general) is defined by the choices that I make.  Not those huge ones that we all struggle with, those obvious life changing decisions, but the smaller ones...the ones that we don't always notice or think about at the time, but can greatly influence are lives anyway.

Like whether or not to go out and eat, because that $6 might come in handy later for something else.
Like asking the cute redhead girl whose cutting your hair what her name is
Like how you greet your colleagues that day

All such seemingly little choices, but all having such greater impact than we might initially think they do. 

I know, I know we shouldn't agonize over every small decision and I won't (nor should you)...but I'm thinking perhaps I should consider them a bit more carefully.  Perhaps it will change the direction of my day or perhaps it will lead me to something new that my library can do...or perhaps it will just make someone's day.

(and I do wish I had asked the cute redhead what her name is)

What would Jim Henson do

A while back I was having one of those days at work where the papers sitting in front of me and the code wasn't making sense, and I needed to do something outside my to do list. So I looked for inspiration online and I found some with Jim Henson.

Many people recognize Jim Henson as the creator of the Muppets and the gang at Sesame Street, but how many know of the innovations he wrought in storytelling, in puppetry, in educating and entertainment?  He wasn't content to let the status quo influence and dictate what he did.  He created puppets that had genuine facial expressions and had life to them.  He changed how puppets interacted with the camera and the stage.  According to Muppet Wiki:

The second innovation was to get rid of the stage that all puppets on TV hid behind, just as they did in conventional theater. He wisely realized that the TV screen itself is the stage. Freeing the puppets from the constrictions of the past, Henson found that the characters were able to move around their environment in a much more imaginative and exciting way. 

http://muppet.wikia.com/wiki/Jim_Henson
Can you imagine Sesame Street if the characters sat behind an artificial stage?  It would have been boring!  They wouldn't have last long if it were like the old "Punch and Judy show."  Instead lasting characters were created that interact with us today.  Where would the world be without Kermit, Miss Piggy, Gonzo, Big Bird and the others?  I can't really say for sure, but I would imagine it would be a whole lot quieter in children's entrainment and education.

And I began to wonder...what more would he have accomplished if he hadn't died so young?  What new heights and innovations would we have seen in the puppetry world?  While his children and his group are still active Jim Henson was...well unique.  Time magazine had him on one of their top 100 lists and had this quote:

Joan Ganz Cooney, who created the show, once remarked that the group involved with it had a collective genius but that Henson was the only individual genius. "He was our era's Charlie Chaplin, Mae West, W.C. Fields and Marx Brothers," Cooney said, "and indeed he drew from all of them to create a new art form that influenced popular culture around the world." 

http://www.yachtingnet.com/time/time100/artists/profile/henson2.html

And so I wonder...how can I be more like Jim Henson?  How can I see the library in a new way to introduce new services to my users?  So I'm going to use Jim Henson as my inspiration for the year and see what new services I can come up with, what perceptions I can break.  Perhaps I'll introduce puppets into my information sessions. 

New job...from July 2009

So as I mentioned a couple of posts back in July 2009 I started a new position at MPOW as Learning Commons/Emerging Technologies/Interlibrary Loan Librarian plus my continued duties as reference/instruction/liaison/tech type person. This new position came as a result of a series of events of people leaving and people requesting changes (including myself) and other events going on.

I can't (and won't) post a lot of the reasons why the change needed to happen, but I was glad for it. I've been in public services every where I've worked and in Access Services in all of my library jobs. During my career I'd come to be enthralled with new areas of the library and was ready for a change and a chance to show what I could do in these other areas. And I'm grateful that MPOW has allowed me to pursue some of these opportunities that I'd been...encouraging them to explore for the last few years. Now I get to take the lead on projects and its actually part of my job which makes it easier to sell.

And yes it is a lot to my name and their are days where I want to pull my hair out and yell "I can't do it all!!!" But its not out of frustration, its more out of the sheer number of ideas that enter my head and get jotted down somewhere or told to colleagues in an effort to help make their lives easier or complete projects that they've been talking about for a while. I have so many ideas that I want to explore, because I want to help transform MPOW into the next century.

And while I'm playing catchup with Emerging Technologies compared to other places, I'm watching for that next tool that will take us beyond. And while we won't have the traditional Learning Commons, I want to redefine how some people view it. I want to find what will make it work for MPOW, my patrons and not everyone elses. I want to challenge myself to not think of things in their traditional means in any area. With ILL I want to look at what can be done to make it easier for patrons to get materials and make it easier on staff not having to deal with outdated and useless technology.

I plan on blogging about some of what I'm looking at and doing during this year. So stay tuned!

My presentations for the year

This was a good year for presentations for me. I'm getting more comfortable giving presentations and I gave three this year, two in a one month time span which was a bit difficult along with everything else I had going on at that time. But it was great experience and allowed me to stretch myself.


BIGGER 2009
This was a rather interesting presentation for me for a variety of different reasons. In 2008 a colleague and I had done a library 2.0 project at our POW and we submitted to various conferences in the hopes of presenting and BIGGER accepted.

• The topic of the conference, Information Literacy, wasn't what we had built our project around but at the same time it fit into the theme
• 1st collaborative presentation. Although I gave it alone my colleague and I figured out a blue print to what we wanted to discuss
• 1st presentation I've done where the slides are mostly pictures instead of text. This was something new I had seen and I really liked the idea of using less text and this presentation really fit that type of style
  

Another thing that was different were some comments I received after the presentation. People were surprised that I discussed what didn't work with the project and I was surprised by that.

BIGGER 2009 Presentation

View more presentations from Andrew Shuping.

GA COMO 2009
Last year at GA COMO I discussed different types of free software and this was a continuation of that presentation where I discussed how to choose, how to find, and places to download free software.

Free Now What

View more presentations from Andrew Shuping.

Access Services Conference
This was a fun conference to attend and present at. Its the 1st year this conference was held and I was excited to be a part of the program planning committee (and no I didn't pick my own presentation!) The conference was strictly Access Services folks from across the country and it was great to be able to learn and share with folks in this area.

My presentation was on Library 2.0 tools that I had tried out with my department and some tips and tricks to look for when starting.

Access Services 2.0: Tools for a new era

View more presentations from Andrew Shuping.

One of the big things I took away from doing these 3 presentations was being willing to talk about what didn't work. Going in I didn't want folks to think that everything was always sunshine and buttercups and that things always worked the way you wanted them too. Cause man did some stuff fail absolutely miserably that I tried out. So I talked about it. I thinks its important to share not only your successes but your failures as well.

Heroes--common, uncommon, and otherwise

One of the radio stations that I listen to has been running a promo the past couple of weeks called "uncommon heroes" where listeners had a chance to call in and share about someone that they considered an "uncommon hero." I'm not quite sure what makes someone an "uncommon" hero since heroes can be made of anyone, but many folks shared about teachers or parents, but the variety was kinda of amazing to hear.

And I wondered how many of the people that were brought up knew that they were heroes to someone? I mean think about it who starts out there day really thinking I'm going to be a hero to someone today! I know Dr.'s, police officers, fire fighters, etc. save people's lives everyday, but do they think about being someone's hero? It reminded me of a story I heard while I was student teaching about how a teacher saved a student's life, all because of a simple act of placing an arm around the student's shoulder. The student realizing that there were people that cared found the help that she needed to go on. I don't know if the story is true or not, but it's always made me try to think about my actions.

So on that note I thought I'd ask y'all who are you heroes? Whose someone that's touched your life, whether they knew it or not?

Here are a few of mine:
Couch Garrett was one of the soccer coaches that I had growing up during my teen years (AYSO soccer) and probably the best one that I ever encountered. Instead of being all about winning and playing the best players while the scrubs sat on the sidelines, he actually took time to nurture players who weren't the best (like myself) and ensure that we all had fun playing. Every single player got to play, every single player was honored at the end of the year for their accomplishments, and we all played as a team. Every game we cheered each other on and supported each other. Parents could complain all they wanted to about how their son should play more because they wanted to win, but coach wouldn't have any of it. We actually did make it to a tournament that year and finished second. It wasn't because the best players played all the time, it was because coach ensured that we knew the meaning of being a team.

Mr. Tucker was my middle school art teacher. Now think about that for a second, he was an art teacher with a bunch of middle school students. Hormones running rampant, adolescent confusion, insecurity, the whole nine yards, plus being a male teacher. But he survived and helped us excel. Everyone that entered that room knew that he cared about them. He treated us like we were human beings. He didn't talk down to us, but talked to us. I can't say it was on an adult level, but he talked to us and listened to us, which is what so many of us needed. He made sure that if we needed help with our projects we got it. He nurtured us to be more than we were and to succeed beyond what we could ever imagine. I owe so much of what I accomplished in art to him.

Rev. Lyndon Harris was one of my priest's growing up. I can't say that I really remember everything that he did while I was there (during my teen years), but watch this YouTube video and you'll get a sense of who he is. And if you want to know more check out this page.

Others: Dr. Davis, Dr Parris, Rev. Clay Turner, and so many more.

No this isn't everyone, but it's some.

Please feel free to share yours in the comments or post to blog and link back or whatever makes you happiest.