10 August 2017

What now?

What now? No...seriously. What now? Because I don't know anymore.

In my last post I said I was going to move to Portland, OR. I was going to have a fresh start, go to a place that I've wanted to go to for a while, and just be me. But after talking with some friends that live out there they convinced me to hold off on that as it was not only going to be a major, major move, but that since I didn't have a job I should wait til I have one, especially since there are some issues with job hunting and affordable living out that way.

Since that last post the following has occurred:

  • I didn't pass my MFA thesis, so...no MFA
  • My appeal of the committee's decision was upheld
  • Everyone I had hung out with has moved on to bigger and better things
  • I'm constantly reminded of what I've lost and of bad memories
  • Depression and anxiety have spiraled madly
  • Not having a job that really challenges me is starting to get to me
  • Not having groups around here and decent mental health care are dragging me down
  • Not having a place to live at the end of August is about to shoot me in the foot.
So I don't have any place to go to. My parents don't talk to me. I don't have any family left to turn too that I'm aware of. I'm dead broke and I'm just....I'm just completely lost.

So what am I going to do? 

I've tried to sell what I have left, but I've gotten nowhere. I sold a lot of what I had before I moved up here and what I have left is basically the essentials. I still have my car for now, but I'm not sure I want to give it up just yet. 

I can't stay in Vermont for all of the reasons listed above. Moving to Portland, OR seems out of reach at the moment. So what then? 

After talking with friends I've decided to stay in the New England area for now and move to a bigger city. I can potentially move with my PT job to one of their other locations and I've settled mostly on moving to the Boston area, although I'm keeping other spots like Maine in reserve. The problem is still affordability though. Boston is bloody expensive, especially with my cats.

So I turn to you. My friends. The internet. To ask for help.

Here's what i figure:

So basically I'm looking at just over $3500ish to move and get a fresh start somewhere other than VT.
Any and all help would be greatly appreciated. 

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